


Expecting You To Care

by mistyegg



Series: Midnight Oil [13]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Era, Confessions, Drabble, F/M, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyegg/pseuds/mistyegg
Summary: Prompt: Write about something you lost.





	Expecting You To Care

**Author's Note:**

> i love the idea of alexander and john being a thing before eliza, even tho it crushes my heart 
> 
> title from madness by muse

“Are you unwell?”   
  
Alexander sighed and turn his chair around, smiling when he saw Philip asleep in Eliza’s arms, cradled gently in a mother’s embrace. It’s visions like this that take him away from the past, but Philip’s curly hair and glowing freckles are too similar.

“I must confess,” Alexander mumbled, standing up.   
  
Eliza’s curious face dropped to worry. “My love?”   
  
“I don’t expect to be forgiven for my actions, before and after I met you and fell in love,” He walked over to his family and brushes his hand over Philip’s forehead, moving his curls and admiring his son’s face. “I love you both so dearly, but…”   
  
“Someone else?”   
  
Eliza’s voice was small - heartbroken. Alexander quickly looked up to her and shook his head, his left hand on her cheek now and holding it. “No. At least, not anymore.”   
  
Eliza was silent, just looking at her husband was wet eyes, tears not spilling over. “Will you tell me her name?”   
  
“You are not asking the right question.” Alexander wanted to shut his mouth as soon as he began speaking. “We met long before I was stationed to you in New York, but our relationship progressed. It was… unconventional.”   
  
“Sodomy.”   
  
“Yes,” he confirmed. Eliza hadn’t pulled away from his touch, look right at Alexander and demanding more with silent words and prying eyes. “He lays ten feet below, and I hadn’t been with him for months after my departure, but we traded letters. I believe my last letter didn’t get to him in time, and…”   
  
“Oh, Alexander,” She soothed, suddenly laying a hand over the one on her cheek, careful with their son. “Let me just…”   
  
“Yes, of course.”   
  
They met in the bedroom shortly after, with Philip laid to rest and Alexander’s office locked and alone. She invited him to sit with her, the two situated at the end of the bed, Alexander wrapped around her arms. “Am I wrong to ask if it was John?”   
  
“No.”   
  
“Oh, my love, I’m so sorry,” She soothed, like a worried mother to a crying child. “I don’t understand, but I know what’s it like to love a man.”   
  
Alexander chuckled, enduring a nudge of his wife. “And if those letters were anything like the ones to myself, I can’t say I blame him.”   
  
Alexander relaxed into her side, only speaking minutes later. “You know, in my invitation for him to our wedding, I proposed… how would you say, joining our bed for the night.”   
  
“I’m sorry,  _ what?! _ ”


End file.
